
Jen Lee is a writer and spoken word artist in Brooklyn, New York. She is a collector of stories, many of which unfold in her vibrant neighborhood or in the lives of her closest friends. Jen is the author of Don’t Write: A Reluctant Journal, and Solstice: Stories of Light in the Dark . She writes regularly about the creative process, among other things, at jenlee.net. She will be teaching two writing workshops at Squam Art Workshops in September, 2009.
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A Voice, Untamed
by Jen Lee
My voice was tamed at an early age by a sharp whip called, Manners. It curled and cracked with precision and a certain grace, marching my words into step, teaching my lips to form a tight line.
At some point I decided that performing for the whip wasn’t good for a voice, which is wild and free by nature. I ran away from that circus, and I vowed that my daughter’s voices would roam freely all their days.
On one such day, we went to the Children’s Museum of Art. As soon as we paid and entered, a sign was posted saying the downstairs would be closed for the next three hours to accommodate their summer camp. Unfortunately for us, the downstairs area hosted the Ball Pond, which was the feature my oldest daughter was most excited about. So we played. We created. I stalled. For three hours.
When we were finally granted access, we saw that the Ball Pond was constructed–not of small balls–but of adult-sized exercise balls inside a padded cement coral. My oldest daughter entered the ring confidently to romp in a menagerie of arms and legs and shouts and squeals. Physically, it was the kind of space that would collapse my youngest daughter underneath its stormy waves, despite the fiery spirit in her that was pulling her in, in, in.
I stood outside a half-wall and held her hands while she jumped on a ball in place, just inside the wall. She squealed. She bounced. She was part of the fun. But she grew tired, and settled for standing on the half-wall and watching, holding my index fingers in her tight, tiny fists. Girls in the Ball Pond were screaming with excitement and adding her own scream to the chorus was her last way to be a part of the wild play.
And then an older boy appeared right in front of her.
“Ow,” he said, holding his ears. “Can you make that stop?” he was looking at her, then back at me. “That’s hurting my ears.” (Curl, crack.)
I thought about suggesting that he move to one of the other ninety-nine square feet of floor space, or pointing out that all the little girls were screaming, but I didn’t have the chance.
My daughter, hands still holding my fingers like anchors, stopped screaming. She summoned her inner tigress, leaned her whole body forward, and roared.
And roared.
February 2, 2009 at 4:50 pm
What a wonderful, beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I’ve only recently gotten my own roar back, and stories like this affirm the path I’m on. Thank you!
February 2, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Yes! Maybe we should establish a roaring ritual with our daughters!
I am so honored to have four daughters who are strong in spirit. Then I also five boys who are strong enough to accept the strength of women. For awhile, there was a disconnect in how I raised them with a voice but did not have my own. They were my expression. NOw, I am finding my voice for myself. It’s a good thing.
February 3, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Tracy–We pay a price, when we step onto a new path, don’t we? I cherish the affirmation of it, too. I need to hold those stories close, especially when the road is hard.
And Cynthia–I love the idea of a ritual, and I can totally relate to raising them with a voice while still finding my own.
Thanks for sharing!
February 3, 2009 at 2:53 pm
So sad how that whip has silenced so many of us. Looking forward to more roaring!
February 3, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Beautiful!
February 3, 2009 at 4:30 pm
YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! That is so awesome. And beautifully told. I have no idea what to expect from my sweet unborn little girl and stories like these are amazingly encouraging.
February 3, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Um, I love this so much! I hope that when I have kids one days, my daughters will feel free to roar with all thier hearts! Thanks for creating this poetry, and I am looking forward to more from you!
February 3, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Dear Jen,
Thank you for putting into words what I have strived for…finding my own voice and roar, thru helping my own 3 girls have their voice from the start. Delightful story of truth. For the men in our lives, may we also teach them to join side by side in raising equal voices against the wind.
February 5, 2009 at 3:18 am
“I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,
I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world.” ~Walt Whitman
May we all learn to roar and YAWP more often.
February 6, 2009 at 11:12 am
[...] first issue of Voca Femina is live. Go visit! You can read my piece, A Voice, Untamed and submit some work of your [...]
February 7, 2009 at 12:51 am
Awesome story!!!
I love the anticipation that came at the end with the boys request & the little girls silence that turned to a roar!
Thanks for sharing with us!!!
February 7, 2009 at 5:04 pm
jen,
i know i’ve said this to you before, but you such a talent for stories. i’m ecstatic to have another place (aside from solstice, don’t write, & your blog) to be gifted with your words. thank you.
February 19, 2009 at 12:33 am
It’s like breathing deep and inhaling something fantastic. It’s like listening for something and finding that what you’re hearing is exactly what you were listening for. Your soul roars “create!” to me, Jen!
Thank you,
February 19, 2009 at 12:34 am
^
the above was Emma G… just so you know…
February 20, 2009 at 3:08 am
Jen, how beautiful that you recognize your daughter’s need to express herself and that you were not – at least in this moment – that sharp whip that tried to tame her. May she grow fully into a tigress in all her beauty and strength. Good work, Mom!